Feeling Pretty Good

Brian and I went on vacation on September 5th and returned home early on the 15th. I had planned on taking my Ovulation Predictor Kit with, but forgot it and didn't think much about it. I figured I would just test when I got home, so I tested on Tuesday afternoon, which was humorous in itself. I had a digital test under the sink and so I grabbed it and was getting it ready to use, when I noticed the digital reader wasn't working, so I headed to the store and purchased another one. When I got home the one that wasn't working was still sitting on the bathroom counter and it seemed to be working again so I decided to take 2 tests at the same time and see what happened. Well 4 minutes later they were both positive, I was having a LH surge. I was shocked, I wasn't expecting it to be positive right off the bat. So I called the Doctor's office to set up an appointment for my 2nd IUI. I of course later that evening had to take another test just to make myself crazy and it was negative, so I began questioning myself and everything, Brian just laughed. I also took another test in the morning and it was positive, so I figured 3 out of 4 tests was pretty good odds. I went in for my IUI on Wednesday afternoon and have been feeling pretty good since. No cramping, a tiny bit of spotting and just an overall feeling of calm. I think my vacation had a lot to do with it, I didn't think about babies, IUI's, periods or pregnancy. So I feel pretty optimistic. I also feel that if we have to continue the IUI for a few more months before we get pregnant, that is okay. I feel like it is going to happen and happen soon. I guess we will see how I feel in a week!

Disappointment IUI#1

My period kinda started today. It will be full blown by morning. I knew going in that it may not work the first time and that we may have to do the IUI a few times, but I was hoping to be super lucky! I am having a small pity party this evening and then I will buck up and prepare for another procedure. I think vacation will help me relax and gain perspective on my life. I feel like I am floundering and there is nothing anyone can do. I feel a little hopeless and wonder if there is a light at the end of this particular tunnel. Maybe I should just concentrate on adoption and forget all this nonsense, but then am I giving up? I can't explain how I feel anymore. Why me, Why me, Why .....
I don't get it, I do everything I am told, I pray, I take my vitamins, and it doesn't seem to matter.

Am I ever going to be a mother?