So here is a little information about me and why I started blogging.
I am a 30 years old and have been married for 7 1/2 years. It is crazy to look at my wedding pictures and think about that day. Brian & I had so many hopes & dreams. I had so many hopes & dreams. My biggest hope & dream was and still is a child. I have always wanted a child and when I married Brian, I knew I had found my prince charming and the father of my children. When we got married we decided to wait a few years. We wanted to buy a house and enjoy married life for a while. After about two years I wanted to start trying.
7 1/2 years later......We are still trying!
I went to my family doctor about 3 years ago to renew my prescription for Zoloft. It was the first time I had ever meet this particular doctor. He wanted to know why I was on Zoloft and I explained why and mentioned that I had some anxiety about not getting pregnant. He referred me to a OB/GYN that specialized in Fertiltiy problems. I thought, "WHAT! Me, Fertility problems, I don't have fertility problems." Thus began my journey through fertility treatments and disappointments. I had a Hysterosalpinogram and my husband had a complete semen analysis done, and all came out fine. My doctor told me it sounded like we had a Timing and Stress issue. I began taking the drug Femara six months, after my first fertility test. Femara is similar to Clomid. After a few months of just taking Femara, my doctor decided to add FSH & HGC shots to my monthly regimen. My regimen went something like this. Day 1, my period started and I would cry and then buck up. I had a schedule to keep. On Day 3 I would start taking 1 .25mg pill of Femara on until Day 7. On Day 9 I would get a shot of the FSH. (I can't remember the dosage.) Then on Day 12 I would go in and have a Ovarian Scan to check to see if I had mature follicles. If my follicles looked "ripe" I would then get my hCG shot. This hormone ladden cocktail would create a very fertile environment with in my body. I followed this regimen religously for several months with no success. In the mean time several of my friends became pregnant with little to no effort. I stopped treatment after my husband changed jobs and our insurance no longer helped us with the costly treatments. We have been trying without assistance for 10 months. Every month is filled with hope and with devastating disappointment.
I often tell my husband of my fears and disappointment and he reassures me that everything is fine and we WILL be parents soon. Brian is an amazing husband and a great listener, but I feel like I need more of an outlet. I also hope that this blogging process will be a helpful to me and to others, that also feel like they are alone.
(((Angela)))
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the reasons that have led you to feel the need to blog... but I hope you will find that you are not (as I know it feels) alone.
BTW, what kind of "doctor" would tell you that IF is a "stress and relaxation" issue? My goodness? They gave him a degree to diagnose that? I probably take too much personal offense at that, but that's one thing I absolutely HATE hearing as the reason for our IF.
Hugs to you, my friend. My prayers are with you.